Watching the clock

We were waiting for Bob at Gatwick last night, his flight was delayed 5 hours, it wasn't worth going back home, so we got comfortable and sat tight. Eric was content on reading his Dostoyevski novel (crime and punishment) but I got bored after about 30 minutes, and found myself watching the digital clock and getting exited when it got to 22.00.

This went on for two hours, and I was anxiously waiting for the ultimate clock reading (00.00).
The ocassion was very emotional, and I couldn't wait for the wonderous finale. A few more seconds and my task would be complete, 23.57, 23.58, 23.59...... Oh shit, you bastard!!!, just as the clock turned 00.00 some toerag walked in front of it and obscurred my view at the precise point. I saw red, jumped up and lunged at him. If it wasn't for Eric I would have knocked him all the way to Tanzania. I calmed down after about 20 seconds, as Eric had the unenviable task of explaining to the poor chap why i had got so annoyed. To my astonishment the individual couldn't understand and said that i was a danger to society and should be locked up, let alone be allowed to wait in airport lounges for delayed flights.

Bob finally arrived. I fell asleep on the way home (good job Eric was driving). I'll be filled in on Bob's trip later I guess.

New Peas

I was in Tesco's on Saturday doing the weekly shop and I must admit I was in one of my "over 40" irratable moods, and when I am in one of those the slightest little thing really agitates me. I was looking in the Frozen foods section and picked up a packet of frozen peas as they come in handy as a decent ice pack when my injured knee swells up.

Anyway I looked at the packet and written on the front in big letters were the words "Farm Stores NEW PEAS". The first thing I thought to myself was bloody gimmicks, anything to frigging sell something. As I was shaking my head in disapprovement a young (about 16) shelf stacker walked passed so I beckoned him and said:

"Excuse me young man, these frozen peas, could you tell me what's new about them?"
Well he looked a bit bemused, as I guess it wasn't usual for customers to ask questions about the products. He looked a bit flustered and replied "Sorry Sir, I don't know, but I can ask my supervisor"

Well just the thought of that made me think that this could make the situation far too complicated than it was worth so I said to him "No it's ok, I'm just curious, it really isn't a big deal", I then walked away and continued to do my shopping.

Literally straight away, another young individual came bounding down the aisle and said " I understand Sir has a problem with the frozen peas". He was about 17 and wearing a suit which proudly displayed a badge on the left lapel that said "Supervisor". You see that's what they do in Tesco's, they employ 16 year old school leavers as shelf stackers, then if they show the slightest bit of potential they stick a suit on them after 12 months and call them Supervisors.

"No its Ok mate, it's not a problem, just my curiosity getting the better of me" I replied
"But Sir, we expect 100% satisfaction for our customers and we like to help in any way we can" he said very enthusiastically.
"Well it's not a problem", I replied "I just wondered what was new about them"

He took the packet of frozen peas off of me, examined it closely, and then took a packet of the more familiar brand "Birds Eye" and started to compare the contents.

"I'm sorry Sir, but it's not immediately apparent as to what is new about them, they have the same protein content, same amount of carbohydrate, and the ingredients are identical" he stated.

"Well there must be something new about them", I replied " Perhaps they're blue, or square" I replied

He then proceeded to feel the packet very carefully in his hand and said " No Sir, i don't think they are square"

By this time another suited individual had arrived on the scene, he was about 18 and had a badge that said "Assistant Manager", also a crowd of other shoppers were now gathered close by, wondering what all the commotion was about, and I came to the conclusion that this really had got complicated.

" I understand you have a problem Sir", the Assistant Manger said dutyfully.

" Look mate, it's really not a problem and I don't want to make an issue of it, really" I responded.

" Ok Sir, but I can call our supplier and the manufacturers if you want, they would be sure to know what's new about them"

" No really, please, it's ok, I just want to get on with my shopping now, but thanks for your concern", I replied.

"Alright Sir" , he said, and then he put the packet of peas in my shopping trolley.

I quickly took them back out " Oh no", I said, " I don't want to buy the peas, I just wondered what was new about them, that's all".

I'll never ask again, no matter what sort of irritable mood I happen to be in.