Instant Coffee

I was just thinking to myself and wondered if you were to put instant coffee into a microwave would you go back in time.

Had my haircut today, I usually do it myself but decided to go to the barbers as a treat. As he was shaving my head the hairdresser said "Are you going anywhere nice for Christmas?", so I replied "Well I've thought long and hard and after due consideration I've decided to go somewhere cr*p instead".

"Uh-ha, it's all good baby bay-bee, uh"